I think it is stupid to want to something badly when another person holds the keys to it. Surely trade must be desired, to be initiated, but one shouldn’t expect the trade to complete. The other person decides whether one half of the trade will happen, so we should always have a strong alternative, without losing the desire to trade. And in trades in which no potential alternative exists if the trade doesn’t go through, the trade should not be desired.
So in romantic love one should have many options. In any form of love or friendship, one should always arm oneself with what to do if the relationship breaks down.
The safest thing to want is something that you can create yourself.