I am a huge fan of truth. Being true to myself, trying to know the truth about everything, and avoiding hypocrisy is the way I roll. This is partly because I am not smart enough to manage multiple identities. I do have secrets. Really “decadent” secrets according to the popular moral codes like Christianity. When asked of such secrets, under the implied threat of persecution I lie. Even when I lie, I do not hide it from myself. I always know I am a liar when I am one.
With all the obsession about being true to myself, I have come to realize that it doesn’t help as much as having power and influence.
Power and influence doesn’t always come by because you are right, or because you seek the truth. To have power it might be necessary to pretend and play along with a lie that people like to believe in, even if you know the truth. To have power means to say one thing but do another. That is the only path to cooperation with the multitudes of plebs who are wrong.
And then there is etiquette – arbitrary patterns of expected behavior to communicate your status, and moral stature. Nobody knows your heart. Nobody can know your true intentions. They can only go by appearances. They will judge you by it.
It can be time consuming, tedious and even boring to blend in. By wearing similar types of clothes. Talking and even thinking using the same vague and meaningless phrases, blanked out thoughts, unstated premises. But that is how the world rolls.
To cooperate I must create a simulacrum of their insanity which rests on my true nature. That has been hard.