Beware of wishing for immortality

Throughout religions and trans-humanist philosophies, we are taught to value immortality. We should be careful about what we wish for. Immortality can be painful when you are a fallible, self-knowing, history-knowing being with not a lot of ability/interest to create new realities, and solve new problems.

I will examine different types of immortality below:

  1. Christian immortality: The heaven according to Christians is a place which is like an eternal Jesus Camp where you sing praises to the Dear Leader forever. What will you be doing on your quadrillion-th birthday? Well of course you will be praising Jesus. What about your octillion-th birthday? You will be praising Jesus. So if you think that Sunday church service is too boring, sleep-inducing, or just long, you will really think heaven is hell, on your million-th birthday. You will beg to be put to death. You will long for an eternal rest like you were before you were born.
  2. Islamic immortality: The heaven according to Muslims is more worldly. Think of it like a long Las Vegas trip were everything is free including the hookers. What will you be doing on your quadrillion-th birthday? Well you will be having sex with the 10 billion-th human for the million-th time, assuming you change partners each day. You will quickly run out of human beings to have sex with, no matter what Allah does for you, you will soon be bored, and will beg to be put to death like you used to be before you were born.
  3. Transhumanist immortality: Same problem above, but of course you can voluntarily choose annihilation, and not beg for permission to your Dear Leader. So you are slightly better off. Of course if you have a creative mind perhaps you can spend a billion years writing all music that sounds good to the brain structures of all human beings. Oh wait, the quantum computers can do that in a nanosecond. Well, then how about generating all life partners that will be pleasing to your mind. Meh, that can be done in a nano-second too. You will pretty soon call it quits.

So what is the moral of the story?

The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again. — Achilles from the movie Troy.


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