The general doctrine on sex, held by most Christians is that sex is an ugly weakness of man’s lower nature, to be condoned regretfully. They consider sex and themselves as evil and this is why they are capable of indiscriminate desire and unselective indulgence. When human beings are taught that they should despise themseleves because they are unworthy, sinful and need to be saved, they try to gain self-esteem from sexual adventures -which can’t be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and an expression of a person’s sense of his/her own value.
No matter what corruption Christians are taught about the virtues of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which one cannot perform for any motive but one’s own enjoyment-just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity!-an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exaltation, only in the cofidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces one to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept ones real ego as., ones standard of value.
A man will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience or to fake a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value because he is untainted by the Christian doctrine of original sin, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. He does not seek to gain his value, he seeks to express it. There is no conflict between the standards of his mind and the desires of his body.
But the Christian man who is convinced of his own worthlessness will be drawn to a woman he despises because she will reflect his own secret self, she will release him from that objective reality in which he is a fraud, she will give him a momentary illusion of his own value and a momentary escape from the Biblical code that damns him. Observe the ugly mess which most Christian men make of their sex lives and observe the mess of contradictions which they hold as their moral philosophy. One proceeds from the other. Love is our response to our highest values and can be nothing else.
Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess, as Christians always do, that love is not self-enjoyment but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to values, but in response to flaws and he will have cut himself in two. His body will not obey him, it will not respond, it will make him impotent toward the woman he professes to love and draw him to the lowest type of whore he can find. His body will always follow the ultimate logic of his deepest convictions; if he believes, like the Christians, that flaws are values, he has damned existence as evil and only the evil will attract him. He has damned himself and he will feel that depravity is all he is worthy of enjoying. He has equated virtue with pain and he will feel that vice is the only realm of pleasure.
Then he will scream, like the Christians do, that his body has vicious desires of its own which his mind cannot conquer, that sex is sin, that true love is a pure emotion of the spirit. And then he will wonder why love brings him nothing but boredom, and sex nothing but shame.