Ambivalence

Sometimes I really hate Indians. They want help for free. They demand it, and if they don’t get it, they will hate me and will refuse to cooperate in everything else. Now what happens if I do help them? They cling to me like a leech, sucking out all my time. Now what if ask for help? They hate me for asking a little of their time which they would have spent in leisure. So it is basically, eye for an eye but no help for help.

I hate Indians because of the pseudo-praises they make so as to induce pride, which they believe will lead to my fall. I hate them because of their pseudo-sympathies which they express so as to induce a sense of weakness in me which they believe will keep me under-performing in social life.

Now since when did I become a non-indian to crticize?
I did not. I simply assumed the status of an observer like many Indians who do the same because they believe by being so, they’ll be able to change India.

Everyone knows talking the talk is easier than walking the walk.

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3 thoughts on “Ambivalence

  1. makes me do a self reflection on myself. the be honest, well, i am lazy, always do things last minute. But if i am so damn fucking interested in a project, i’ll do it without referring to time to rest my body, because my mind doesn’t let it, i’d be probably lying on bed shutting my eyes trying to concentrate to sleep by switching off my thoughts and thinking.

    But this is a very good view on general (including myself)

  2. About walking the talk, it was my brother who’s running the company, and suddenly he tells me, hey, why not you do computer security?,but i told him i don’t have enough time to do it as i’m still studying (in fact, i’m avoiding to work with him on higher level for now), as far as what i’m doing with him currently is basically a secretary as i’ve acquired that skill in APEL2.

    I did not comment what he was doing and i didn’t like his leadership style (as a startup), IMO. But when i start doing it, then i will have more power (if i get more shares in it),so i can say something.. (psst. that’s the one dollar salary for a month thing about)..

    and i said it even before we entered your project lab, and before you mentioned about the game theory stuff. 🙂

    But he’s a practical thinker, goes into all the complex stuff without mastering the basics. Like what we’re learnt in PSPS, TCS2, etc. So he tend to read ALOT of books blindly…. I still am not telling his mistakes because he has this ego, but i’ll soften it down by having a say in it, only when the opportunity comes. He’s learning his mistakes the hard way, so his hard-earned experience may come in handy in the future. *grin*

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