If emotions could speak

  • Fear: My existence is under threat.
  • Anxiety: I feel inadequate. I doubt myself.
  • Anger: Someone has been unjust towards me.
  • Hostility: I doubt myself now/I feel inadequate. Therefore, I hereby accuse this person/group here for making me feel that way. Now it is a case of “this person/group is being unjust towards me”.
  • Chronic & covert hostility: This person has a positive trait. That is not a good thing. Points must be scored. Said person ought to feel discomfort, guilt or self doubt.
  • Depression: I want something, but I don’t think I can ever have it.
  • Distrust: [Self explanatory]. This person cannot be trusted.
  • Momentary envy: I want that. I wish I had it. I ought to act to earn/deserve it someday.
  • Chronic envy: Strong people are evil. They violate my rights. They are just lucky. They just have “connections”.
  • Happiness: I have achieved that which I acted to gain and keep.
  • Love (varying degrees of): I love valuing this person who values me.

Truth takes time. Power is quicker.

I am a huge fan of truth. Being true to myself, trying to know the truth about everything, and avoiding hypocrisy is the way I roll. This is partly because I am not smart enough to manage multiple identities. I do have secrets. Really “decadent” secrets according to the popular moral codes like Christianity. When asked of such secrets, under the implied threat of persecution I lie. Even when I lie, I do not hide it from myself. I always know I am a liar when I am one.

With all the obsession about being true to myself, I have come to realize that it doesn’t help as much as having power and influence.

Power and influence doesn’t always come by because you are right, or because you seek the truth. To have power it might be necessary to pretend and play along with a lie that people like to believe in, even if you know the truth. To have power means to say one thing but do another. That is the only path to cooperation with the multitudes of plebs who are wrong.

And then there is etiquette – arbitrary patterns of expected behavior to communicate your status, and moral stature. Nobody knows your heart. Nobody can know your true intentions. They can only go by appearances. They will judge you by it.

It can be time consuming, tedious and even boring to blend in. By wearing similar types of clothes. Talking and even thinking using the same vague and meaningless phrases, blanked out thoughts, unstated premises. But that is how the world rolls.

To cooperate I must create a simulacrum of their insanity which rests on my true nature. That has been hard.

Fake Miracles Part 2

In an older post about fake miracles, I wrote how claims for miracle babies are made possible through the use of Rho(D) Immune Globulin injections.

In this post I will explain how claims about miraculous better vision is made possible through the use of Orthokeratology. The claim often goes like this:

I had bad vision. I prayed to god, now my vision is better.

How it works: There are expensive bedtime therapies using contact lenses which are only worn during sleep. These contact lenses change the shape of the cornea, and can correct for myopia, hyperopia, astigmatism etc.

Why do people do it?

  1. To earn brownie points in the religious community. What more do you need than to show to your community that you are so pious/virtuous that you were capable of winning favors from none less than God himself?!
  2. To win believers. Using a secret interpretation of 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Christians can justify lying and cheating so as to win believers. It justifies the use of fake miracles and magic tricks if it helps people believe. This secret interpretation is often seen in extremist Christian apologetic groups.

People aren’t pure

I used to believe in things. Then I realized most people didn’t. Most people merely cared about what other people thought of them. Their social status is the only thing they believe in, and they will preach their principles to make others feel inferior. But they themselves won’t follow it.

Here is how to operate in the world, according to how these people do it:

  1. Identify a source of enthusiasm or motivation. If there isn’t one create it. It doesn’t have to be fact based.
  2. Assume charge of sanctioning, approving, regulating enthusiasm.
  3. Direct people’s motivation to achieve your end.



Media reporting on the Ice Free Arctic

Beware of wishing for immortality

Throughout religions and trans-humanist philosophies, we are taught to value immortality. We should be careful about what we wish for. Immortality can be painful when you are a fallible, self-knowing, history-knowing being with not a lot of ability/interest to create new realities, and solve new problems.

I will examine different types of immortality below:

  1. Christian immortality: The heaven according to Christians is a place which is like an eternal Jesus Camp where you sing praises to the Dear Leader forever. What will you be doing on your quadrillion-th birthday? Well of course you will be praising Jesus. What about your octillion-th birthday? You will be praising Jesus. So if you think that Sunday church service is too boring, sleep-inducing, or just long, you will really think heaven is hell, on your million-th birthday. You will beg to be put to death. You will long for an eternal rest like you were before you were born.
  2. Islamic immortality: The heaven according to Muslims is more worldly. Think of it like a long Las Vegas trip were everything is free including the hookers. What will you be doing on your quadrillion-th birthday? Well you will be having sex with the 10 billion-th human for the million-th time, assuming you change partners each day. You will quickly run out of human beings to have sex with, no matter what Allah does for you, you will soon be bored, and will beg to be put to death like you used to be before you were born.
  3. Transhumanist immortality: Same problem above, but of course you can voluntarily choose annihilation, and not beg for permission to your Dear Leader. So you are slightly better off. Of course if you have a creative mind perhaps you can spend a billion years writing all music that sounds good to the brain structures of all human beings. Oh wait, the quantum computers can do that in a nanosecond. Well, then how about generating all life partners that will be pleasing to your mind. Meh, that can be done in a nano-second too. You will pretty soon call it quits.

So what is the moral of the story?

The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again. — Achilles from the movie Troy.

The Loneliness of the Gods

I recently read about the innovative solution to the ITA interview problem:

If the integers from 1 to 999,999,999 are written as words, sorted alphabetically, and concatenated, what is the 51 billionth letter?

I loved the solution using lazily evaluated grammar trees, automatic differentiation for length calculation(!), with binary searching in such trees.

It was really mind blowing. My solution would have involved exactly what the problem asked me to do: strict enumeration of number names sorted alphabetically to find the correct letter.

To compute less is an art that belong to the gods.

I wonder if the gods are lonely. Would people appreciate them? Would people remember their names long after they are gone?